Rangers Fans: Delinquents-in-Training
As the Rangers came out on the ice, the kids went nuts. They jumped around and screamed like they had missed their daily dose of Ritalin. Hell, they probably did, as their fathers just sat back, downed some beers, and watched in amusement.
Early in the game, the kids spotted a Sabres fan in the crowd beneath the balcony, and dropped their popcorn onto them from above. This did not bode well for our suite full of Sabres fans on the other side of the glass.
After Buffalo scored their first goal, our suite erupted in cheering. The children took notice, and turned their taunting away from the crowd below. For the rest of the first period, they schemed to come up with ways to taunt us. And once the Rangers scored their first goal, the barrage began. First, in a mind-boggling show of the masculinity of themselves and their team, they lifted their shirts:
They jumped up and down, pointed at us, laughed, and chanted, "Let's Go Rangers!" The most confusing comment from one of the kids was, "we own this place... literally!" Was his father the CEO of Cablevision? I doubt it.
For most of the game, we all struggled to come up with a kid-friendly comeback as we watched the Rangers take a 3-1 lead. We sat in our box in silence, and we stewed as our neighbors continued to taunt us. Finally, my friend Brendan chose to break the silence with the most brilliant comeback ever:
Obnoxious 8-Year-Old Rangers Fan: BUFFALO SUCKS!That pretty much shut them up for the rest of the game. So did Buffalo's two goals in the third period, and our eventual victory in overtime. As we cheered for the game-winning goal, the kids glared back at us. One of them gave us the death stare.
Brendan: You're fat.
This solved one mystery. I now know where Yankees fans who taunt old men with canes and throw beer on girls wearing Red Sox hats at Yankee Stadium get their start: taunting innocent Sabres fans. They're delinquents-in-training, and in fifteen years, they'll be in top shape for getting arrested for drunken disorderly in the Bronx.