Rangers Fans: Delinquents-in-Training

I had heard that Rangers fans were just as batshit crazy as Yankees fans, but I had no idea how young they started. Last night, I watched my Buffalo Sabres come back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Rangers at MSG, 4-3 in overtime. In the suite next to us, separated from us by just a sheet of glass, was a group of 10 rowdy children, all probably 8 or 9 years old. They were all Rangers fans, and they had no shame.

As the Rangers came out on the ice, the kids went nuts. They jumped around and screamed like they had missed their daily dose of Ritalin. Hell, they probably did, as their fathers just sat back, downed some beers, and watched in amusement.

Early in the game, the kids spotted a Sabres fan in the crowd beneath the balcony, and dropped their popcorn onto them from above. This did not bode well for our suite full of Sabres fans on the other side of the glass.

After Buffalo scored their first goal, our suite erupted in cheering. The children took notice, and turned their taunting away from the crowd below. For the rest of the first period, they schemed to come up with ways to taunt us. And once the Rangers scored their first goal, the barrage began. First, in a mind-boggling show of the masculinity of themselves and their team, they lifted their shirts:

They jumped up and down, pointed at us, laughed, and chanted, "Let's Go Rangers!" The most confusing comment from one of the kids was, "we own this place... literally!" Was his father the CEO of Cablevision? I doubt it.

For most of the game, we all struggled to come up with a kid-friendly comeback as we watched the Rangers take a 3-1 lead. We sat in our box in silence, and we stewed as our neighbors continued to taunt us. Finally, my friend Brendan chose to break the silence with the most brilliant comeback ever:

Obnoxious 8-Year-Old Rangers Fan: BUFFALO SUCKS!
Brendan: You're fat.
That pretty much shut them up for the rest of the game. So did Buffalo's two goals in the third period, and our eventual victory in overtime. As we cheered for the game-winning goal, the kids glared back at us. One of them gave us the death stare.

This solved one mystery. I now know where Yankees fans who taunt old men with canes and throw beer on girls wearing Red Sox hats at Yankee Stadium get their start: taunting innocent Sabres fans. They're delinquents-in-training, and in fifteen years, they'll be in top shape for getting arrested for drunken disorderly in the Bronx.

7 Moments of Idiocy:

Blogger heather said...

wasn't it Brendan's hot brother who had the sheer moment of brilliance?

not to take away from your story, or anything.

12:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LETS GO RANGERS!!!!

if you dont like it you can move to Boston where everyone talks like they dropped out of the 6th grade. Seriously, that is true enthusiasm for the game and sports. Maybe if your teams shared this winning one world series in 86 years wouldn't be considered and accomplishment.

This is also further proof that people from new england only care about teams that win and ignore the losers. nobody in new england gives a shit about the Celtics right now. Niehter of the bruins fans will admit to liking the team, but every jackass with a speech impediment is wearing a red sox hat and tom brady jersey right now.

thank God you aren't a republican.

also, if you don't like NYC and it's sports teams... you are a terrorist and you hate freedom.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Z. Madison said...

Those little hooligans are cracking me up. Thank you for the picture.

Please don't lump all of we Bomber fans together (or assume even 1/16th of us give a rats ass about hockey).

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Finally, someone had the guts to stand up to a bunch of eight year-olds by calling them fat! What a zinger!!

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GO FLYERS!!!! YEAH...


oh who the hell am i kidding... we suck this year.

-beej

10:48 PM  
Anonymous kwanito said...

Buffalo fan? Well, then you must already have this saved to your favorites on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fkp9qv15dA

I watch this clip whenever I feel lethargic or complacent. I'm a Rangers fan, and those kids are awesome.

11:08 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

You guys let a bunch of 8-year-olds at a Rangers game get under your skin? Ouch :)

11:45 AM  

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