Sports Television Brilliance

At Professor Thom's Monday night, all but two televisions were showing Monday Night Football. One of those two kept me distracted from the game for almost the entire first half. That television was tuned to the NFL Network.

While I am completely appalled by the league running a cable television network that no cable system wants to fork over the money to carry, I will acknowledge the single redeeming quality of the NFL Network: The NFL Cheerleader Playoffs.

The premise is simple: put cheerleaders from nearly every NFL team through a series of competitions with no real point except bragging rights. Among the highlights: the obstacle course (lots of jiggling), the kayak race (lots of splashing), mountain biking (lots of mud), and the swim relay (lots of flesh).

Most entertaining, however, is when their knowledge of the sport they cheer for is tested. In the "Match Game," the cheerleaders must match the logos of the teams to their team names. From what I've watched, it has become apparent that no NFL cheerleader knows the difference between a Jaguar and a Panther. Then, in "Touchdown Trivia," they are posed with daunting football-related questions, such as, "how many points is a touchdown worth?", "how many yards is it from one goal line to the other?", and "what NFL broadcaster has his name on the most popular football video game?"

Each episode ends with a dance-off, where a choreographer and a former cheerleader judge the cheerleaders' dance performances. Oh, and Chad Johnson, too. If any NFL player is qualified to judge dancing, it's Chad Johnson. Also, throwing in a real NFL player as a judge keeps the dance competition from being completely gay.

I'll be at my local bar watching hot cheerleaders shake around, get wet, and get down and dirty in the mud every Thursday night at 9:30. Who thought you'd ever expect that out of a show on the NFL Network?

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