In Defense of Rhode Island

Dear U.S. Census Bureau,
This is not Rhode Island. This isn't even an attempt at Rhode Island. It looks like you got lazy, took an outline of Vermont, and trimmed the sides off.

This is Rhode Island. Your pathetic representation of my home state is embarassing to us and you. Hang your head in shame. You've omitted half of the state... the ISLANDS! Plus, you conveniently shaved off nearly all of its public waters. In fact, one of those islands is called Rhode Island.

Thanks for making Rhode Islanders feel even less significant than they already are. Next time, look at a map.

Sincerely,
A Rhode Island Expatriate

25 Moments of Idiocy:

Anonymous Ben said...

What is this Road Eye Land that you speak of?

1:29 PM  
Anonymous United States Government said...

Dear Lil' Rhoady

Nobody cares about you. You barely have more electoral votes than Washington DC. You don't see us making Washington DC a state. If we could, we'd totally revoke your statehood.

Kisses!

The U.S. Census Bureau

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Josh said...

Except there may not have been a United States if Rhode Island hadn't been the last of the 13 colonies to ratify the Constitution. One more thing, it's The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations to you.

It's a pretty big slap in the face to Narragansett Bay to not put it on a map. Hell, it just might be as big as the rest of the state! And don't forget Blah Kailind

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

I thought you were Canadian.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Mahogany said...

omg, i think i just peed my pants. too funny. be happy u arent in WI, the land of cows, beer, cheese, fat women and males with mullets.

3:53 PM  
Blogger *** said...

Wicked awful, right? I mean, it's practically awful awful.

5:35 PM  
Anonymous narnia said...

I hoped you were canadian.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

rhode island sux ass

risd is cool though

5:57 PM  
Blogger Jaime said...

Represent, TSoRI&PP. Represent.

6:14 PM  
Anonymous special monkey said...

biggest little state in the union!
hey rhode island rocks. especially the island parts. i think the one you refer to is also known (and probably predates the rhode island moniker) as aquidneck. the land of fried clams. very nice place to be in the summer. here's some RI trivia, belle and sebastian the band from glasgow, scotland were once called 'rhode island.' boo. i know so much about ri because my crazy relatives live in warwick, and i went to summer camp there as a youngin (but not in warwick)!

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey - WTF, how does Wisconsin get dragged into this east coast BS?
I am a thin woman who lives there whose only association with cows is medium rare. Ok, I do like beer and cheese, very good with pizza or tacos. And mullets, see more down south.

6:26 PM  
Blogger spinachdip said...

I thought they declared independence and changed their name to Zimbabwe.

7:36 PM  
Blogger idratherbesailing said...

Hey, what would happen if you cut off the half of CT east of the Connecticut River and attached it to Rhode Island?

The IQs of both states would double.

HA! Sorry, just a little Southern New England humor for you. Go Whalers.

7:36 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Why do all the trees in Rhode Island lean west?

Because Connecticut sucks.

There's an obvious reason why people from Connecticut are so smart. There's absolutely nothing to do there. Hell, half of Connecticut comes to Rhode Island just to go to the beach.

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...screw this conversation, I am goin' to Dunkins..."

-A Newporter in NYC

8:53 PM  
Anonymous sage said...

O I miss Taco Faker on Thayer

10:38 PM  
Anonymous autrement qu'etre said...

I had a Del's just 3 days ago.

11:06 PM  
Anonymous Ocean State Novelties said...

Only in Burrillville, Rhode Island would you hear, "Dude, your tractor is HOT!"

The dude bitching about the map probably knows where it is, only because there's nothing else to do here...

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just which island is Rhode anyway?

9:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

less go eat some chowdah and bee-yah and watch nascah. dat dale earnhaat's a wicked drivuh huh.

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about Block Island? Shouldn't the census bureau include that too? Maybe the territorial waters need to be added in.

After all, Rhode Island and Providence Plantationers need all the liebensraum they can get. Maybe they can invade Cape Cod.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous ; ) said...

Seems Mr. (or Mrs.) "chowdah and bee-yah" thinks Rhode Island is part of Boston. Asswipe. I hope you drown in a vat of Autocrat.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The worst is when people say (I swear to God this has happnede to me twice) "Is that part of New York?" I think they're thinking of Long Island... So sad.
Drinkin' dunkin right now.
Go Rhody.

11:53 AM  
Blogger Audrey. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Audrey. said...

Thought you might enjoy this:

Better Names for Rhode Island

9:20 PM  

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