I Don't Have Casual Sex, and Therefore, I Am
Better More Sexually Frustrated Than You
Okay, so maybe it's not by choice. It's probably because I have no skills and haven't had casual sex in years. Or pretty much ever. Or at least not casual sex that didn't end up turning into a relationship that would forever be awkward because it began with casual sex.
I've always been known for being mature for my age. And here is the problem with casual sex that should be plaguing me at 35, not 24: what if she's "the one?"
The demon on my left shoulder is saying, "dude, who cares? You're getting laid! Do you really want to go three years without getting ass again?"
The angel on my right shoulder is saying, "how about this: 'Daddy, how did you and mommy meet?'...'Well, we met at a bar, I took her home and had wild sex with her. Then we didn't speak to each other for three days.' Do you want to live with that legacy?"
Maybe it's my upbringing in a heavily Catholic state that instilled my aversion to casual sex. No, that can't be it. There are just as many skanky whores in Rhode Island as anywhere else in this country, except maybe New Jersey.
Maybe it's because I'm "a nice guy." No, that can't be it, either - any ex-girlfriend of mine will probably tell you that I am not "a nice guy."
Maybe it's because I have, since the day I escaped my mother's womb, been ridiculously shy. Yeah, that's the ticket. Blame it on my shyness. Start a movement: shy guys need to get laid, too, you know. Guys should be able to sit there and expect a woman to come up to him, because that should be socially acceptable. A shy guy can dream, can't he?
Sorry, I'm fully aware that I can't expect sex to fall into my lap... pardon the pun. This post was simply a cry for help for a guy who hasn't gotten laid in 128 days.
Not that I'm keeping track or anything.