Behind the Scenes in Ben & Jerry's Marketing Department

Marketing Guy #1: So we have a completely bland mass-produced product that we call a "milkshake in a bottle."
Marketing Guy #2: Yet it has none of the characteristics of a milkshake! It's not frozen, nor is it made with ice cream! Brilliant!
Marketing Guy #1: Now, how can we get this product out to the public?
Marketing Guy #2: I know! Let's deface an historic building in New York City with huge, tacky banners!
Marketing Guy #1: And give away tiny samples of these crappy milkshakes!
Marketing Guy #2: Yeah! And put shills out on the street to hawk our product!
Marketing Guy #3: Um, guys, I don't think this is what Ben and Jerry had in mind.
Marketing Guy #1: Hey, who let that hippie in here?

10 Moments of Idiocy:

Blogger Not Chosen said...

Hilarious! I was sitting at the Kelly Awards a couple months ago listening to a similar conversation between two Palmolive execs:

Exec #1: "So we're introducing these extra powerful cleaning crystals [or some other equally inane name]."

Exec #2: "Do tell..."

Exec #1: "We just need to figure out how to suspend them in the soap so they'll float."

Exec #2: "They really don't do anything special though, do they?"

Exec #1: "Not a damn thing."

Joint guffaw ensues...

12:51 PM  
Anonymous rod said...

i flicked a cigarette at one of those banners!

5:38 PM  
Blogger Matt Saturday said...

I saw this for the first time this weekend and I had the same reaction. It looks horrible - damn hippies.

6:31 PM  
Blogger K said...

Good ole Ben and Jerry's--further evidence of evil is the old discontinuation of the Dilbert ice cream...

8:49 PM  
Anonymous For the record said...

I went to one of their focus groups for the new product. Everyone agreed that the milkshake in a bottle was the most disgusting thing ever and that they should go back to the drawing board.

Apparently they didn't take our advice.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went in there find three themed stations set up and run by extremely perky B&J's associates and a bunch of kids and elders. With the little sample cups they had...little kids were sipping them and putting them back on the fucking tables! Very unsanitary, unsettling, etc.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not defending ben + jerry's at all. I tried the stuff, it tastes just like melted ice cream. BUT, are you guys really hating on a marketing campaign in new york city? where are you from??? have you noticed this type of thing happens quite often around here? and besides, those posters are temporary. get over it, haters.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"an historic"? "A" historic will do just fine, and it will actually be the correct word.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Anonymous said...
"an historic"? "A" historic will do just fine, and it will actually be the correct word.

Hey, I didn't say it - my fictitious marketing guy did!

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do see and hear "An historic" quite often... Thought it was wrong until I heard Tom Brokaw use it a couple years ago... I assume they'd determine the proper usage before letting him say it on the air.
Anyway, "An" works with some h-words like historic, but not with others: If you told me you were eating an hot dog while riding in an helicopter it might sound a little weird.

3:03 PM  

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