Right on Target
The terrorists hate popcorn. Especially popcorn from Indiana.
This bratwurst stand at the Apple 'N Pork Festival in Clinton, Illinois must be protected from the evil-doers!
If you don't like sweet, furry barnyard animals from Old MacDonald's Petting Zoo in Woodville, Alabama, then you obviously hate America.
Finally, we must take action to save our nation's most precious asset: the BeanFest and Championship Outhouse Races in Mountain View, Arkansas.
If we can't let toothless yokels race down a hill in outhouses on wheels immediately after consuming 2 pounds of beans and cornbread, then the terrorists have truly won.