President Bush said today that there was "a reasonable chance"
that the U.S. could've shot down a North Korean missile headed towards North America. Reasonable, you know, because the system is nowhere near fully operational and what does exist only works about 20% of the time.
Standing by the President's logic, here are some things that have "a reasonable chance" of happening to me this weekend:I will meet Lindsay Lohan when she stops me on the street to tell me she is a huge fan of my blog.I will be forced to buy new bedding, as a weasel set loose in my apartment building will enter my bedroom and destroy my sheets.I will fall victim to a black bear in Central Park, who will not maim me with his claws and teeth, but rather with a cordless electric saw.I will acquire a rare flesh-eating sexual disease from Paris Hilton without being anywhere near her.I will fall madly in love with a girl and fly to Vegas, where, inspired by our first date movie - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - we will get married in a pirate-themed ceremony.I will return home to discover that my apartment is infested with koala bears - hungry koala bears - and worse, I have no eucalyptus. As a result, Mitch Hedberg will roll over in his grave.I will start a game as the Designated Hitter for the Long Beach Armada, after an embarassing mix-up sends Jose Canseco to my company softball team.I will win the New Jersey Lottery.