If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Off the Beach
Scene: A Downtown M15 Bus
Snooty Passenger: You just passed my stop!
Driver: You didn't request a stop.
Snooty Passenger: I told you, I needed to stop there.
Driver: See that light? It's not lit. You never requested a stop.
Snooty Passenger: But I told you where I wanted to stop.
Driver: That's not requesting a stop.
Scene: Penn Station, LIRR Ticket Vending Machines
Unreasonably Impatient Woman: Excuse me, I need to get a ticket right now! I can't wait in this line.
Reasonably Patient Woman: The line isn't that long. And there are only two people waiting at the machine over there.
Unreasonably Impatient Woman: But I need to get on the 10:14!
Reasonably Patient Woman: It's 10:03. They haven't even assigned a track for that train yet.
Unreasonably Impatient Woman: Don't get pissy with me, I need a ticket now. (Storms off to another machine, repeating the process.)
Scene: Long Beach, Long Island
Irrational Woman: You mean I have to have a pass to get onto the beach? Are you kidding me? That's retarded.
Actually, stop right there. She has a point. Where I'm from, we don't pay to get onto the beach. In fact, the Rhode Island state constitution has an entire section on this:
Sec. 17. The people shall continue to enjoy and freely exercise all the rights of fishery, and the privileges of the shore, to which they have been heretofore entitled under the charter and usages of this state. But no new right is intended to be granted, nor any existing right impaired, by this declaration.
That's right, the shoreline is free for all the people of Rhode Island to use. State Beaches have no admission fee. There are no tags to get, no passes to buy, and no "private beaches." So when I have to pay six bucks to get onto a beach, I'm insulted. Especially when my Rhode Island beaches are cleaner and have well-maintained facilities - not shacks with bathrooms.
But you know what? That bitch still didn't have to make such a stink about it.