- WHY did Frank Bruni have to go and write about his cross-country journey to dozens of fast-food restaurants in the week that I start my diet?

- WHY did a member of my gym staff eat a greasy, smelly Egg McMuffin right in front of my treadmill this morning?

- WHY are there still two Mallomars left in the box that's sitting in my refrigerator? (Answer: in case I have a craving for a Mallomar in the middle of the summer, when they're not available in stores.)

I'll go back to eating my low-fat, low-sodium, whole-wheat pasta from The Pump now.

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