A name by any other name

So after seeing that the newest baby name trend is "Nevaeh" - "Heaven" spelled backwards - I've proposed a few new baby names of my own. Here in a city of unworthy, uncaring parents, they might as well give their children similarly nonsensical names that really express who they are!

- Daehekoc (day-HEY-cock): for parents who wish to see their child passed out on the bathroom floor with celebrities at Bungalow 8.

- Pohsxes (POSS-zees): for parents who strive to see their child open a legitimate, successful business on the West Side.

- Reppirts (REP-errts): for parents who want their child to be a real self-starter, and known among the most powerful men in New York.

- Edicimoh (ed-EE-sim-oh): for parents who hope their child will carry on the tradition of their "import/export business."

- Relaedgurd (RELL-ad-gurd): for parents who see their child as an independent spirit, entering into his own profitable venture.

- Elppa (ELP-pa): for parents who think that the name "Apple" isn't fucked up enough.

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