My readers, in profile
1. My readers don't get out of bed on Sundays. And they waste a lot of time reading my blog at work... multiple times a day.
Observe the chart:
2. My readers come here for information on the Dunkin Donuts Smoothie.
And if you're here for that, I will direct you to my diatribe on the pixie stick in a cup.
3. My readers come here for my review of Speakeasy, on Avenue C in the East Village.
This is obviously due to an apparent lack of available reviews of the place online. I couldn't even look up its address online, let alone anything about it. It's not worth being the best kept secret in the East Village, so go read the review.
4. My readers sometimes come from domain names that make it obvious who they are.
And as a result, I'd like to send the following personal messages:
Hi, Dunkin Donuts corporate employee. I'm sorry I don't like your smoothie. Really, I wanted to like it, but it's gross!
Hi, ex-girlfriend from my distant past. How's it going? We haven't talked in forever.
Hi, Mom. Look at me! I'm on the Internets!
5. My readers stumble upon my blog via a link from a much better blog than mine.
Sorry to disappoint you. Go back where you came from.