Awful Big, Awful Good, Awful Intoxicating

Yes, I still read my hometown paper almost every day online. Something caught my eye today that my fellow Rhode Islanders will enjoy. Newport Creamery, which is known for its "Awful Awful" milkshake ("Awful Big, Awful Good") is applying for a liquor license in Garden City. And if you immediately thought of the possibility of an Alcoholic Awful Awful, you weren't alone. I did, too. And so did party-pooper, Cranston mayor, and lost-cause Senate candidate Steve Laffey:

Mayor Stephen P. Laffey, when asked for comment, said opposes the license but that he would not intervene.

"From a city standpoint, the decision is in the hands of the Safety Services Committee," Laffey said.

"As a businessman, I can't help but feel that mixing alcohol with coffee cabinets seems to be an awful, awful bad idea," Laffey quipped.

Are you kidding? It's a brilliant idea! A mudslide, Newport Creamery style? I'm going to bring some Awful Awful mix back with me from Rhode Island next time, and stop for some cheap liquor at the New Hampshire State Liquor Store. I'll throw an Awful Awful party. But it won't be that awful.

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